


Six Months

by deletingpoint



Series: Love Doesn't Mean a Thing [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Eventual Smut, F/F, Femslash, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Open Relationships, POV Barbara, POV Multiple, POV Tabitha, Past Relationship(s), Power Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:38:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deletingpoint/pseuds/deletingpoint
Summary: Of the people she met with, Tabitha always noticed the eyes first. She didn’t really believe in the soul mirror theory, but she wanted to know how people saw her. Did they see her physical presence? The darkened irises. The desire. Was it warm or cold, soft or sharp? Did they want to know what was behind the façade? Were they scared or shy? Tabitha had learned to see it all from the young age, one of the benefits of her family obligations. So, she noticed eyes first.It wasn’t difficult to love a lot of people. When Barbara was five, she had told her mother she loved everyone. With some of the people she had to consider a bit longer, but the answer was always the same. Barbara had a lot of love to give. Still, love and like were never the exact same thing.*The six months between the end of season two and the beginning of season three.





	1. Eyes and Knives (Tabitha)

**Author's Note:**

> I love Babs and Tabs! Suggestions or comments are very welcome and thank you for reading.

Tabitha was still in hospitalbed, when Barbara appeared by her side.

“Hey, love, you getting better?” she whispered, leaning closer. Tab opened her eyes as she recognized the voice. It was warm. She didn’t remember Barbara being so warm before. She couldn’t look and instead turned her head. She had always known the importance of Jim Gordon in Barb’s life, but the latest betrayal still hurt. Why did she have to look for him? “Not really, been in this bed for days. And you?”

“Listen, babe, I would’ve come sooner, but Butch has some guarddogs in place, had to wait a right moment. It’s not that I hate the guy, you know,” Barb’s voice sounded a bit strained.

“Barbara, I’m too tired to care about your feelings, really,” she said quietly. Barbara’s hands tensed. “you should go, he’s probably back soon.”

“You love him or something?” Barb asked teasingly.

“Or something, yes.” Barbara briefly touched her cheek, dragging her long nails on it. Then she sighed almost theatrically. “I leave you then, get better,” she removed her hand, rose and walked towards the door. Tabitha heard her stop and turn as she added: “I’m done with Jim, you know.” Then she left.

Tabitha relaxed again. She really was tired and it was not the first time Barb had made promises. When did Tabitha Galavan start to care anyway? Her whole life had been either duty or play. Sometimes she had managed to melt those two together. It’s not like she didn’t care at all.

Her practical mind had told her not to go after her brother, but it was her brother. She cared.

There had once been a lady in a house they had stayed in. She was five, the lady was nice with dull, drowned but kind eyes. Until she’d been taken away in handcuffs. She had chopped vegetables and then her husband. That time her eyes were alive again, glowing with peace and the wrinkles in the corners had smiled. It was the most beautiful sight Tabitha had ever seen. Silver had reminded her of that lady. She cared.

And there was Butch. He was so very kind as well and Tabitha liked the awe he directed at her. It was beautiful. She cared.

Of the people she met with, Tabitha always noticed the eyes first. She didn’t really believe in the soul mirror theory, but she wanted to know how people saw her. Did they see her physical presence? The darkened irises. The desire. Was it warm or cold, soft or sharp? Did they want to know what was behind the façade? Were they scared or shy? Tabitha had learned to see it all from the young age, one of the benefits of her family obligations. So, she noticed eyes first.

            Barbara’s had been cocky, filled with lust, but also pretended happiness. She remembered her gaze, when she had killed for the first time in front of Barb. It had intrigued her. Sometimes, later on, it had evolved into warmth or care, but there was always Jim Gordon in Barb’s mind and Tabitha knew it.

She wished she could fight already, she missed her whip and the blackness of night. Perhaps she could throw knives at hospital walls?

Door slipped open and Butch stepped in: “Tabitha, you’re awake?! That’s good news,” he rushed by the bed and took a seat. Tabitha sat upwards and leaned against the headboard. “Hey-hey-hey, don’t tire yourself,” Butch fuzzed over her, adjusting the pillows.

Tabitha smiled with the corner of her mouth: “Can I get some knives to throw at the wall?”

Butch laughed with his whole body. It was delightful and happy and his mouth curved into a little bear. Tabitha loved it. “Why am I not surprised that’s the first thing you say after coming back from the dead,” he pulled his hands in his lap, looked at them and shook his head, “thought I had lost you.”

“Come here,” Tabitha gestured him closer, pushed herself and kissed him. It was a light kiss, she didn’t have the energy to be more passionate. Butch smiled against her face and pecked a kiss on her left eyebrow. “So, what about those knives?”

“I’ll look into it. You rest.”

“I intend to, but I’m bored.”

“Already? Have you been up for long?”

“A few hours. Where have you been?” she didn’t mean to sound needy, but she really wanted to know.

“Had some business,” Butch wanted to avoid her gaze, but he had never been able to, “I had to, you understand?”

Tabitha felt her hands fall down, heavy, and she nodded slowly. “How?”

Butch cleared his throat: “Umm, you really wanna know? Now, I mean?”

“Well, this was the last thing he did to me,” she gestured at her body, “so yes, I want to know.”

“Umm, earlier, I was here with you and someone came to make a proposal. Penguin,” he said before she could have asked, “thought he came to kill ya, but I guess he wanted your brother more. So, we tracked him down.” Tabitha wanted to ask, how he lived to tell the tale, but Butch continued before she could have done that. “There was a grenade launcher,” he smiled a little, but shifted his eyes to look anywhere but at her.

“Now, why didn’t I think of that?” Butch didn’t answer. She knew what he was thinking though. That she didn’t really go there to kill him.

“I guess that story has ended then.” She wanted it to be over. She had wanted a lot of things to be over. Except her life, she had never really wanted to die. Kill yes, die no. Sometimes she felt as this was the thing that made her different from Barbara. Barb was a survivor, but had she really wanted to survive? In the beginning, before Tabitha knew her. She wished she didn’t want to know.

“So, you and Penguin? Back together?” she asked to change her thoughts.

Butch shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I thought it would be a one-time-deal, but now,” he scratched his nose. Tabitha couldn’t help but notice his hand. She knew it was soft and warm. Not slender, but big and she touched his other hand with one finger. How very weird were people’s hands. You could break them with a twist of a wrist. They could kill you. They could save you. Like people. She withdrew her finger and lifted her eyebrow: “So, I take it as a yes. It is your decision.”

 “I mean, if you don’t want me to. It’s not like I have to.”

“Well, it is your decision. I just want you to remember, why you came to us in the first place.” Tabitha felt anger seep into her voice. She didn’t like it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. And he killed Fish, which, you know, I liked Fish. But yeah, I dunno, I guess I’ll think about it.”

Tabitha nodded. Think about it. Like she didn’t already know. She didn’t mind as much as she might have, though. Penguin had proven to be difficult to get rid of. Alliance would not have been a bad idea.

“I’m pretty sure he won’t dare to come near you, as long as we’re working together,” Butch was still trying to convince her.

“He wouldn’t get near me either way.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, just. I know him, we go long back and you need friends in this city. The nastier the better,” he fell silent for a moment, “I should leave you to rest, okay?” he patted her shoulder, before shifting to stand up.

“Yes. Probably. Don’t forget! The knives.”

Butch laughed a bit again, nodded and left the room, never turning his eyes from her.

Once again, silence filled everything. Not the good kind of silence, which filled the air, when she was tracking someone just before going for a kill. This was not exciting silence. She flexed her fingers. One day. She will most definitely leave this place after that.


	2. Glow in Her Veins (Barbara)

 

Barbara rushed out of the hospital. Waste of time, it had been such a waste of time. Except she didn’t do waste of time, unless it was the fun kind. And let’s be honest, the fun kind is never really a waste.

Maybe she should have let Tabitha be? She tilted her head for a minute, then shook it and said out loud: “Naah.” Barb had never really known obsession until Jim happened. She did not want to go back there, she was done with obsessing. Well, more like she decided to be obsessed with herself instead. Not to mention, Tabitha had been great, in every meaning of that rather boring word. Her rescuer. How was it, you become responsible for people you save? Her partner in crime, Tabitha Galavan. That sounded crunchy. Barb had always loved a bit of crust and crunch.

Of course, it was not Tabbie’s fault that Barbara survived. She had done that for a long time, even before Jim. She took a few dancing steps and whispered: “I am a phoenix rising from the ashes of my previous self.” That was artful, Barb liked the idea and decided to remember it. Tabitha enjoyed that sort of thoughts.

Now, she had to find a way for her to actually listen to Barb. Butch. Tabitha definitely talked to Butch. Probably did a lot more than that. Barb would not have minded, really, they were always free in their decisions. She minded that Tabs wouldn’t look at her though. Even when she dragged her nails on her cheek. Tabitha had always liked that.

 

Maybe she should have stopped tormenting Jim sooner. But she had thought she was good now. She had decided to be good again. She was sane. And her sane mind told it was bad to be bad. Tabitha was bad. She killed people, usually that is considered bad, right? Even when she did look really deliriously good doing that. And so, good meant Jim Gordon. And it would have been perfect. After all, Barbara had been bad, Jim had been bad. But in the end they both wanted to be good again. Jim though didn’t see things as clearly as Barb did. She was free, he wasn’t. So, the waste of time had been Jim.

Tabitha. The way she had moved on that day after Arkham. She had been the only thing Barbara saw. Glowing through everything, swift and fast and agile like a feline. There had been a time, when Barb did not like cats. She was envious of their freedom. The way she had to please her society, whereas cats did what they pleased. And did it well. Barbara wanted to be like Tabitha. Of course, later on she realized Tabs was not as free as she had thought back then.

But then. What a beautiful sight!

The strength behind her every sneaky movement. She had immediately wanted to strip her of clothes and swallow her skin. To see if the glow in her veins was golden. But even more she wanted Tabitha to do that to her. To be swallowed by that heat. Be burned again, be reborn again. So she had played a game with that joker of a man Jerome. Letting him touch her and nibble her throat while her eyes were fixed on Tabitha. Letting him laugh and laugh as Tabitha’s corner of a mouth had smirked. It felt like her black panther could see right through her and was just waiting for her moment to attack.

These thoughts made Barbara restless. She touched her lips and remembered the first kiss with Tabitha.

 

When she had had enough of Barb’s game of challenge. They had been alone. It was a rare occasion back then. Barbara was picking a necklace to wear, Tabs had leaned on the door, her eyes following Barb. She could feel that tingling feeling of being wanted. She played with the selected pearls, dragging them through her fingers and locked her eyes with Tabitha. “You sure you want to wear those?”

“Well, I need to wear something. This dress looks naked without,” she had answered, voice low and thick.

“I don’t mind naked. I’m sure it would suite you.”

Barbara had laughed, feeling like a little girl.  “What would you approve?”

“I think this would be perfect,” Tabs had answered and before Barbara could have moved, Tabitha’s whip was curled around her neck. It wasn’t too tight or too loose, it was a perfect fit. Tabitha was still by the door, her eyes still on Barb. Barbara had smiled, licked her lips and then Tabitha moved. With one swift step she was right in front of Barb. The other end of the whip snaked from her hand to her own neck.

They were linked, but still they weren’t touching. Just looking. Barbara had felt her breath stop, had felt Tabitha’s breath on her skin. The air moving, almost kissing her ears, almost licking her throat, almost sucking her fingers, almost scratching her shoulders. The teasing air sent shivers through her whole body and she couldn’t have moved her eyes even if she had wanted to. Tabitha’s nose was now touching hers, moving to her hair, her lips so close to her skin.

Finally, Tabs’ fingers moved though the hair. Their eyes were still opened when the lips found each other. Tabitha sucked hers into her own mouth, almost wanting to eat them, then her tongue pushed in her mouth. Barbara answered hungrily, catching it with her teeth and nibbling. Her fingers landed on Tabbie’s cheeks, her tongue pressed against other’s cheeks from within. It had been exhilarating, devouring passion. They had swallowed without breathing and continued, until both of them were so dizzy they landed on the piano in the room.

 

 

            Barbara swallowed. This was not the time for these thoughts. This was the time to find a way in with Tabitha again. She had heard about Penguin killing Theo Galavan. Again. This city really had too many people who had died multiple times.

Tabbie almost died. Barb almost went after him herself. Butch must have. With all their annoying love or something. He worked with Oswald again. Oswald didn’t sound right, Ozzie would sound delicious, wouldn’t it? Barbara remembered the little guy faintly. A friend of Jim’s, was it not? The one who overthrew Fish and Falcone. Where was he now? He had been invisible for a while, perhaps living somewhere else. But Fish’s club still had connections to him, right? The one with the umbrella. The one no one ever went to. Barbara could handle running a club.

She smiled and bit her knuckles. That’s where she’ll start to ask about Penguin’s whereabouts and then! Then she will be around Butch and Tabitha. That would give an opportunity to get her girl back. To finally be free together, be good, be bad, be crazy, be sane, whatever they wanted. “I am coming,” she whispered and walked on the street, “I am coming, my love!”

She felt good again, she felt pretty and alive again. She knew where to start and isn’t that an outrageously wonderful thing.


	3. Haze of Crimson (Tabitha)

Tabitha was extra careful with her wound. She was released from the hospital and she did not want to go back there. Butch lived constantly in her space, mindful of every move. It hadn’t bothered her while she was still trapped inside four walls, but now it had become a bit tedious. She could move on her own after all.

It had not been surprising, that Butch offered her to live at Penguin’s, the way he had decided to, but Tabitha demanded to go to her own place.

The moment she got to her bed, she sank into limbo. It was painful. To be without family. Especially since they had not betrayed her, _she_ had betrayed them. It had been liberating only for a moment. And now … she wasn’t alone, but she felt alone. Matters made worse by the fact she still didn’t have enough energy to go and play a little in the dark. Tabitha was certain her injury was not to be blamed for that. It was not her first close call.

 

            She had been fourteen, when for the first time she was absolutely convinced she had died. She had had that kind of rebellious thoughts before, during her training, but until that moment it hadn’t seemed real.

            A week before that she had killed. She had enjoyed the play, but hadn’t really killed anyone (not by order, her first kill had nothing to do with the brotherhood). It had been weird, to kill without passion behind the intent. It made her feel not alive, like an empty shell, dead inside, but still walking.

Unsurprisingly, on her next mission she slipped. One wrong move and it was over. A curved blade cut her through and everything she saw, she saw through blood. Entire world was a haze of crimson. One face had crouched down to her, eyes squinted and tiny. “Go to sleep and don’t wake up,” her voice was haunting and out of this world. Tabitha had been certain it was an angel of death and she had died. And she didn’t want to be dead.

            She had recovered from that quickly, she came back better than ever.

 

Now, it couldn’t be the wound making her so tired. It was family she didn’t have anymore.

 

She dozed off, only to be awoken by a cracking noise. In an instant she was out of the bed, lurking towards the door, knife in her hand. She felt the old familiar thrill, if only for a millisecond, kicked the door slowly open and braced herself for a fight. Only to find one of the guys who worked for Butch, stationed on the little table and biting an apple. She swiftly moved behind him, placed the knife on his throat and tried to remember his name, it was probably Salvador.

“Woah, hey, I don’t mean no harm!” the guy croaked out and dropped his apple.

“Now, I just could have killed you, Salvador. It was Salvador, right? I don’t like getting names wrong.” The man started to nod, then remembered the blade and confirmed: “Yes, that’s my name, madam.”

 Tabitha cracked a little smile, lowered his weapon and continued: “What might you be doing here? You were not sent by a guy I know pretty intimately, were you? Huh, I guess silence speaks for itself,” she added, when the question was left unanswered. “Tell Butch, that if he doesn’t want to lose his people, he should _not_ send them to guard a real assassin without her knowledge, please be so kind,” she didn’t smile as she escorted the guard out of her well-hid apartment.

As the door closed behind him, she threw the knife right through a poor unsuspecting spider walking on the wall. Tabitha was furious at herself. How could she not notice, when the guy had sneaked in? She lift her head, exhaled and collected the knife. Then she cleaned up the dead insect. Anger didn’t really want to subside, so she stabbed the wall a few times before collecting herself. Perhaps she should have let Butch stay the night, but she really wanted to breathe for just one lousy moment. Was it too much to ask?

After double-checking the door, she returned to her bed and placed the knife back to its rightful place on the nightstand. It was a white little drawer with black stripes in the corners. She remembered the last time she really spoke to Barbara before she fell into coma.

 

They had been right here in this room, the first time she brought Barb here. Could have also been the last. They were naked, Barbara sitting on the nightstand, Tabitha standing and combing through her hair with her fingers. It had been a quiet and warm night, full of gentle touches. Not their usual preference. Silence was easy and didn’t need to be filled. Barbara’s hair shone even brighter than usual. She curled them around her fingers before releasing again.

“Tabbie, why do you even like me? I’m crazy, madder than van Gogh.”

It had been one of her sane or saner days. “Or do you like me because I’m crazy? I don’t know if I wanna be liked because of my crazy,” the worry was sincere.

“I like you, because I can’t read you. Because sometimes you are mad, all kinds of crazy, but sometimes you are material and down to Earth and you ask me questions like these. I like you, because you surprise me constantly and you are smart and pretty and decisive. So yes, I like you. You wouldn’t be alive if I didn’t.” She bent over Barbara’s head and planted a kiss on the line of her hair.

“Really?” Barbara locked eyes with her, threw her head upside down and stole a kiss. “Well, I like you too.”

“You are a wild card, Babs. And you have been like that your entire life. The unknown. I like to explore every single part of you.”

“Thank you for liking me,” with those words Barbara grabbed Tabitha’s hands and kissed her palms. Then she placed them on her chest, right above the heart and covered with her own hands. They stayed like that for a long time, frozen in place. Until Barbara talked again.

“I have a wedding dress. A white one. I want to have my wedding with Jim.”

“Then you shall have your wedding with Jim.”

Perhaps if she hadn’t been so intrigued by Barbara’s logic, she would have convinced her not to. But everything she said had been true. She liked her unpredictable Barbara. She liked how they always told each other the truth without glossing it over. They told the truth exactly when and how they wanted to say it.

 

            Tabitha laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. The world seemed crimson again. As if that reaper had been close by. That of course wasn’t real, the reaper was never a reaper. Just a tiny lady with a deadly aura, named Maria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel like i'm talking more about past than present. they haven't really shown how their relationship happened, suddenly it just was. and then it wasn't and then it was and i just really like to know the reasons behind actions.  
> about Maria. there's this character from Sin City that i adore, deadly little Miho. Maria doesn't really look like her, but she would give off the same vibe.


	4. Hearts and Love (Barbara)

 

It wasn’t difficult to love a lot of people. When Barbara was five, she had told her mother she loved everyone. So, mother had continued to ask:

“Do you love me, do you love your father, do you love the maids, do you love the gardener, do you love the mayor, do you love celebrity no 7, do you love the begging girl at the corner of the park, do you love the sexless person working at the library, do you love the nude performance artist, do you love the woman from the countryside who comes to polish silverware?” and so on and on she went.

Barbara said yes to everyone. With some of the people she had to consider a bit longer, but the answer was always the same. Barbara had a lot of love to give. Surprisingly, after everything, her answers would still be the same. Finding receivers to that love had proven to be a tad bit more difficult. Still, love and like were never the exact same thing.

 

She was sitting at the bar in the club that didn’t really belong to anyone anymore, sipped her transparent cocktail with little hearts instead of umbrellas and swung her feet. The room was dimly lit, music turned down, employers’ talk echoing through doors. She couldn’t understand their words, but she heard their voices. She had asked around about Penguin and then about the supposed manager of this place. Now she was waiting him. A few people walked through empty rooms, but they didn’t stay for long. Had their business deals and off they went.

 

Finally, a short man smelling like tobacco sat beside her: “Hello there, heard you’ve been looking for me. Well, would’ve come sooner if,”

Barbara cut him down: “Sooner if? You’d known I was so nice and polite and above your paygrade?” she patted the guy on his shoulder, drew out the heart garnish and put it in his hair, “there, so much prettier. I should apologize,” she added, clasped her hands in praying position and blinked her eyes, “I am so sorry.”

The man snorted. “You taking yourself too many liberties, my dear. Normally, it would fascinate me, but not in my establishment.”

“Is it though? Your establishment I mean, heard it belonged to Penguin, the king of Gotham,” she exaggerated the amazement in her voice.

“Hasn’t been _king_ for quite some time. Last I heard he wasn’t even a killer anymore.”

“Alright, enough chit-chat, you know where I can find him?”

“You really have no manners. Information ain’t free. Definitely not free for little girls who don’t know manners.”

“As I said, you couldn’t afford me. But let me give you another name. Butch Gilzean, ring any bells?”

The manager of the lovely place frowned for a minute. “He ain’t in contact with Penguin?” he muttered to himself.

“Boy, have I got news for you. Turns out they’re back together, couldn’t live without each other, I suppose. United to take down the enemy named Theo Galavan. Don’t you read newspapers? The only thing some new reporter does is write about Gotham underworld. So, you know what Butch’s been up to lately?”

“I know and address he left for emergency.”

“Ok, can I ask your name?” Barbara gave her voice a flirtatious shade again.

“Bry, and you might be?”

“Oh, they didn’t tell you? Barbara Kean,” she reached out her hand for Barnes to shake it.

“I’ve heard that name before, can’t really place it,” the guy started to think again.

“Let me make you a deal, Bry. _You_ tell me the address and _I_ will make sure you find yourself a better place to work. Between you and me,” she whispered as she leaned closer, “this place even stinks. I know both Butch _and_ Penguin. Ozzie and I are even friends, you might say. It’s not like he’s forbidden to talk about it, now has he?” she added, when Bry was still debating.

“No-no, he never mentioned hiding it, no. And lucky for you, I really hate this place,” he finally grinned.

 

It was nighttime, when Barbara got to Oswald’s new mansion. She at least supposed it was his. Almost pitch black, the night. Her fingers danced on the metallic fence. The gate was opened, the house not lit.

 

Once, Tabitha had taken her to discover the night. She had blindfolded her eyes and taken her to a roof. Every step of the way all she could sense was Tabitha. Her hand on Barb’s hips while she guided her up the stairs, her knee against Barb’s knees, her voice biting Barb’s ear. The smell of Tabitha all around her, holding her close, not letting her go, not letting her escape, not letting her fall. Until finally they were up and cold air smacked her senses back to the night. Tabitha slipped her fingers behind the scarf and untied it from Barbara’s eyes. She hadn’t opened right away, she opened her eyes when she could feel Tabbie was right in front of her. The first thing she saw was Tabitha. In the black of the night, eyes glowing and a smile on her lips. Tabitha didn’t smile so often. It was precious. “Come,” Tabitha had said and shown her the view to the city. Right on the edge. She had enjoyed Tabitha’s smile more than the view though.

 

 

Barbara stroked the fence one more time and walked to the door of the huge house. She knocked with the heavy ravenlike knocker. Silence, still no light. She pushed the door. It moved slowly and she had to use force, but finally it opened. The place stank of dried blood. At first she thought the house was empty. That is, until she saw a dim light coming from further away. It was candles burning, melting and destroying the floors.

 

As she went towards the light (what a terrible idea, like she had still been dead!), the smell got worse and finally she saw the source of it. There was a woman’s bloody head on the dinnertable, covered in flies and Oswald sitting in front of her. He raised his head, sipped red wine and smirked: “Welcome! To my humble home,” bitterness and anger filled his voice, “care to join me?” he gestured to the bottle on the table. Barbara moved to the other chair, took a glass and poured her some wine. Oswald watched her every move and finally spat out: “You’re Jim’s lady? The crazy one, right?”

“Aren’t we all crazy?” she answered while taking a gulp from her glass.

“I got a certificate,” Oswald continued, “I’m sane.”

“So did I! There is just so many things common with us, Ozzie,” she raised her glass and cheered. Oswald mad a noise, something between a snort and laughter. “Normally, I would not allow such disrespect with my name.”

“But Ozzie, please! We are two not-any-more-crazy people, who got screwed over by Jim Gordon. We should use first names!”

“Well then, shall I call you Barbie then?” came the sarcasm.

“You can call me Babs, that’s what my friends do.”

“Friends,” Oswald moved his eyebrow, as if remembering something, “love was said to be weakness.”

“Then I am extremely weak, Ozzie. It has kept me alive so far. You mind if I make this place look pretty?” she asked, looking around.

Oswald shrugged: “Knock yourself out. But don’t touch _her_!” he nodded at the head, “I’m still thinking what to do with her.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it!”

She put the lights on. Oswald blinked as if he was woken from a dream, but didn’t move.

“Thanks for killing Theo, by the way,” Barbara added as she took the entire room in. It needed some serious interior design.

 


	5. Dresses and Manors (Tabitha)

Days passed. Tabitha didn’t want to wear her shirts or dresses, they were all too tight and rubbing against her still sore body. She remembered how Barbara had once wanted her to wear a sundress. Tabitha didn’t do sundresses. If she could help it, she wouldn’t do any kind of dresses. Sometimes they were necessary though. She preferred dark ones, to be able to melt in the crowd.

 

 

“Come on, please! For me?!” Barb had begged, sitting on her knees, palms caressing bedsheets. “I want to see you in something sparkling and colorful and floating. Just put it on for five minutes,” she blinked her shiny eyes and looked up to Tabitha.

Tabitha just gave her a stern disapproving look and continued to wrap herself in leather. It was enough for Barbara to know she had been defeated. “Sometimes you are no fun,” she laid back on the bed and threw her arms over head. That had been a little stab and a blatant lie. Maybe other people didn’t have fun around Tabitha, but she enjoyed herself very much, _she_ always had fun. “Really?” she replied, “looked to me you were having a lot of fun just a few minutes ago,” she managed to sound as cold as she wanted to. Barbara shifted on the side and smiled: “Very much. But isn’t it nice to be out of character sometimes? You know, fluid,” she zig-zagged with her hands.

 

It wasn’t as if Tabitha had never tried something different, as if she hadn’t touched the borders in front of her from time to time. It just never really worked. It might not have been her choice that made her who she was, but she liked who she was. “Yes, at least I’m happy where I am.”

“Are you implying I’m not?” Barbara was quick to ask. Tabs had not meant to touch that subject just yet, they were too casual for that. She took a moment to consider before answering: “I just feel like you wouldn’t know how to be happy without other people surrounding you.”

“Yeah? Last I checked you smiled the widest when you had someone to play with as well. I fail to see the difference here,” seemed like despite her words Barbara was hurt and Tabitha sighed.

“Fine, I’ll give it to you. We _might_ be more similar than I thought,” Tabitha meant it. It had come as a surprise, to not be in control all the time. So far she had seen Barbara mostly as someone who belonged to her. She always protected and took care of the things she owned. And Barb had been delighted by that.

But Barbara also liked to possess, possess everything she had ever loved. That’s where Jim Gordon came to play. And he was not the only one, as days had passed, Tabitha learned that it was like that about herself as well. And she still didn’t know how to feel about it. Barbara had become her student in all things fun and sinful, but she also wanted to push Tabitha. Sometimes she went too far and sometimes she flirted too much with Theo. It was a game for Barbara, but Theo had never understood the rules in games. He had never taken care of things he owned.

Tabitha smirked. Even Barb’s desire to possess intrigued her.

“You’re smiling!” Barbara noted, “does that mean you’re gonna wear it?”

“No,” she grabbed Barb by her neck and kissed her deep before releasing her, “but I’ll let you put it in my bag. Just in case, you’ll never know what the future holds.”

“You’re the best!” Barbara gave a taste to her fingers before finally getting out of the bed to hide the sundress.

“I know.” She had never worn that dress.

 

 

She searched for it now. It appeared to be even more flowery than she remembered. The overall color wasn’t bad: golden and bright blue with pink dashes. But the flowers! Blue and pink and she was surprised there were no butterflies. She still slipped it on her bare skin. It would have to do for a little walk until she finds something more suitable. She still decided to add a leather belt and her long boots.

She decided not to call Butch before going to find him. She had directions and though she wasn’t at her best she was still careful enough not to let anyone hurt her.

 

Penguin’s manor. How many manors did that guy have? Occasionally she wondered whether everyone in Gotham had a few mansions. She had always been invited to her brother’s, but her own place was tiny and hidden even from Theo’s eyes. Especially her brother’s eyes. Barbara’s parents had had a mansion, the Waynes had a mansion, Penguin had had a mansion that used to belong to Falcone and now he had a different one. Seemed like the only people who didn’t have a mansion were cops and street trash. Or maybe they just liked to call their houses mansions. She was glad it wasn’t castles.

She moved further from the gates and heard steps following her. “Just came for a walk and a friend!” she said clearly. She really did not want to fight. “Who’s friend?” her way was blocked by two guys. She put the weight on her left foot and rose her eyebrows: “Butch Gilzean. You might want to tell him his girlfriend is here.”

 

The guys shared a look, but before they would’ve had to make a decision Salvador appeared and guided her in. Tabitha smiled thanks, the guy just shook his head before leaving her alone. Seemed as if no one here had any manners at all. “Hello!” she shouted to the empty rooms.

“Just a moment, we’re in the middle of materializing rooms’ aura!” came an answer somewhere above. Tabitha felt a bit cold. What was Barbara doing here? She had probably not recognized her voice from one hello. More importantly, rooms’ aura? She remembered Barbara knew a few things about art, but auras? That seemed a bit farfetched. Not to mention, Penguin’s mansion? She couldn’t help the tiny smile creeping on her lips. Still unpredictable. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heels running down the stairs.

 

“Sorry, Ozzie’s not in and Butch, well who knows where he is. I sure as hell don’t care,” Barbara appeared finally, striking her usual flirty pose before noticing who she was talking to. Her smile vanished for a brief moment before reappearing. “Tabbie,” her voice was quiet. Then she cleared her throat: “Tabbie! I am so glad to see you,” she took the final steps down the stairs.

Tabitha’s first impulse was to hug her lightly and kiss her on the cheek, but she didn’t. Barb looked good. “Barbara,” she answered after silence.

Barbara’s eyes gave her an inspection. Her smile widened a little before fading: “So, you’re here to see Butch, right?” she asked.

“Yes, I haven’t seen him in days, been recovering.”

“Of course, how are you doing?”

“Better. What … Sorry, I need to ask, how come _you’re_ here?” she had to ask.

“You know me, always ready for new challenges! I guess Ozzie really needed me. My expertise in design and who knows, perhaps even for something else.” Tabitha could see, that Barb was careful with her words. She had her own agenda, but who could blame her – so did everyone else in Gotham. “So, Butch, right, I don’t know where he is.”

Tabitha got the impression that Barbara would not tell her even if she knew. She didn’t ask though.

“You want something to drink? Or a tour perhaps? It’s a nice place. Will be even nicer after I’m done with it,” she hushed her voice and leaned in, “just _need_ to get rid of that worminfested head though.”

Tabitha nodded. She had no idea what Barbara was talking about, but it really was just like her. “I suppose a drink would not do a lot of harm. Until Butch shows up,” she replied.

Barbara’s face lit up and for a moment Tabitha was really they ran into each other. That is until Barbara’s next remark:

“You look very innocent in that dress. So contradictory. And ravishing.” With those words she turned to lead the way to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barbara loves to play dress-up, doesn't she..?  
> thanks for all the kudos, mwah!


	6. All Its Ugliness and Beauty (Barbara)

 

She didn’t really know if she should believe her eyes or not. She had expected Tabitha to turn up one moment or another, but she hadn’t hoped it to be so soon. She must feel better, right? Barbara knew she had refused Butch’s help, the guy was constantly complaining about it, driving even crazy people mad.

 

She really wanted to touch her though. Perhaps that would be too little or too much? Tabbie was no Jim, she wouldn’t take note, but Barb didn’t want to ruin anything more than she already had. By a lucky twist of fate, Tabitha _was_ talking to her and even smiled. And of course, wore that dress. That was torture, why was she wearing it now of all times? Something Barbara had worn before. Only once, at her parents’ house – it really was hideous. When she had suggested Tabitha to put it on she had meant in the bedroom, not outside for everyone to see.

 

Tabbie didn’t look bad though. She looked different, but not too different. It was still Tabitha, with that burning look in the eyes and mischievous play on the lips. A contradiction of sweet and nasty. Aah, it annoyed Barbara. Why weren’t they having fun together? It would only be logical. She could feel Tabitha was still eyeing her. Maybe in the future they should always do everything together? With Tabitha, it wouldn’t be suffocating, they knew how to spice things up. And it’s not like it was solely her fault they were not together. Okay, maybe that final step to the police station to see Jim was a step too much, but Tabitha was already dancing around with Butch, when she woke from the coma.

It had been a nice feeling, though, being calmed down by Tabitha.

 

“So, you’re here to liven the place?” Tabs asked, not paying attention to the remark about the dress.

“A girl’s gotta live somehow, right?” Barbara woke from her thoughts, “Besides, Ozzie’s nice enough. It sure as hell isn’t boring here,” she reached for the glasses and red wine, before changing her mind and taking brandy instead. Tabitha was not a wine person.

Of course, she wasn’t actually drinking a lot either way. She didn’t need to. That had been Tabitha’s answer when Barb asked her once, why she didn’t drink or do drugs.

 

*

“I get my fix elsewhere, as I am sure you have noticed,” she had smirked and twisted her hands around Barbara.

“I like it when people scream,” her fingers crawled lightly upwards like spider’s legs, “or smother their screams,” her left hand reached Barbara’s mouth to cover it, “how their bodies twitch,” her right hand squeezed the wrist, “and shiver,” her breath grazed Barbara’s neck, voice low and fire lurking in the eyes, “and swell,” she pinched her lips, “and bleed,” her nails dragged on Barbara’s shoulder, “at my touch.”

 She stepped back as suddenly as she had started to move. “I’ve tried other ways, none of them work as good as this.”

Barbara was breathless, graving for more touches, more words. She could see light fingerprints on her wrist and she still felt the claws on her shoulder. Perhaps Tabitha was right, perhaps _she_ didn’t need other toxins either to feel everything she had ever wanted to feel. The weightlessness of sex, the thrill of fear, the aftershocks of pain as well as the fulfilling power. Love in all its ugliness and beauty. She stepped closer to Tabitha, dragged her nails on her cheek, smiled and whispered: “Teach me.”

*

 

Barbara filled the glasses and leaned on the table. “You’re lucky Ozzie’s not here, he would love to see your throat slit. For some reason he actually listens to Butch and hasn’t planned on doing it just yet. But better safe than sorry, right, Tabs?”

“You mean the wannabe king?” Tabitha took the glass and swallowed a tiny bit of golden liquid.

“He, how should I put it, he has his charms,” Barb smiled thinking of Oswald’s thirst for power which was even greater than his thirst for blood.

“Did I just hear, that you’ve become friends with the guy? He sure as hell doesn’t want to fuck you.”

“I would like to call it a symbiotic relationship.” Barbara tasted the brandy with her tongue, but didn’t take a sip.

Tabitha’s mouth twitched: “So you want something from him?”

“Don’t go telling him that,” Barbara sat on the table and crossed her legs, “why don’t you take a seat? Make yourself at home. There is something I’ve been planning,” she added while dipping her finger in the glass, “can’t really ask him before the house is done, wouldn’t feel right, you know?” she licked her finger dry, barely tasting the alcohol and searched for Tabbie’s eyes. It was satisfactory to see them tracing her movements. “You interested?”

Tabitha didn’t answer right away. Then she shrugged her shoulders, placed herself slowly and way too gracefully on a chair. Her legs stayed wide apart, skirt thrown between them, as she put her hands on the knees. She tilted her head: “It has always depended on the offer,” she said, challenge curved on the lips. A predator before feasting.

Barbara licked her lips, _that_ was hot.

“It’s a business deal. I would like to have a partner,” she answered quickly.

“I will think it over,” Tabitha leaned back and crossed her arms, “where is the infamous Penguin himself, trying to take over the city again?”

“No idea,” suddenly Barb was relieved to change the subject, “he didn’t even let Butch go with him, “and he cleaned himself up pretty nicely. Ooh, perhaps he’s found a new family? This is his father’s place.”

 

“Tabitha! Heard you’re here.”

Barbara sighed loudly: “Butch, back already?”

The man didn’t even look at her, just waved with a hand went straight for Tabitha. She fucking kissed him way too passionately.

“I guess I’ll just leave you then, right, Tabbie?”

“It was good to see you, Barbara,” _she_ didn’t look at her either.

 

Was it on purpose or was she really not interested anymore? Barb hesitated to leave. This did not look right. “I’m gonna need that dress back,” she said instead with glaring intensity.

“Really, Barbara?” Tabitha finally broke off the kiss.

“What the fuck, you crazy” Butch was in a battle mode and moved towards Barb, but Tabitha stopped her.

“Butch, she’s right. It does happen to belong to her.” Tabitha gave her a look she hadn’t seen before. Was it anger or something else? Barbara felt the glass in her hand starting to crackle.

 

But Tabitha rose, took the coat Butch was wearing and placed it on the table. All the while gazing at Barbara. With a sharp move she took off the belt and threw the hideous dress over her head at Barbara. For one split second she was naked, apart from those boots. Then she put on Butch’s coat and tightened it with her belt.

It happened so fast. But she still caught a glimpse of the new stitches.

“You don’t mind me borrowing it, do you,” Tabitha asked Butch, whose mouth had fallen open. “No-no, of course not, babe. Whatever you need.”

“You gonna walk me back?” her eyes flickered on Barbara’s for a moment before turning back to her man.

“Now that’s a great idea,” Butch smiled as Tabitha linked their arms.

“I’ll see you, Barbara,” Tabbie smiled too sweetly and walked out the door.

“See you,” Barbara said after they had left and the door shut behind them.

 

The glass finally broke.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly had no idea this chapter would end like this.  
> (sidenote: there will probably be about 15 chapters, more or less)


	7. She Felt Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a sex scene between Tabitha and Butch, that could be interpreted as dubcon, but it's short and not graphic.

 

**(Tabitha)**

 

Tabitha wasn’t even certain _what_ exactly had made her so furious. She was fuming, she had been so close to just attacking Barbara. Whether it had ended with her ripped throat or ripped clothes, she did not know.

 

“You okay? I know Penguin’s kinda fond of her, but the crazy is just not good,” Butch was shaking his head and tried to keep up with Tabitha.

Tabitha had almost forgotten he was still there. She turned so suddenly, that Butch almost walked into her: “Do _not_ call her crazy, are we clear on that?”

“Uh-huh, okay,” the man took a step back and raised his hands, “should I have left the two of you alone instead? I mean, if the tension’s killing you, I mean, the way she pushes you, I’m surprised you didn’t try and kill her. Why do you let her get to you? If you want her you can have her, right? And then, you know, get rid of her? Might make you feel better?”

Tabitha was still in rage. She stepped into Butch’s space and gave him a once-over. “I will not let her play me like that.”

Butch swallowed, he was visibly starting to get nervous, but still needed to add: “She kinda did just now? I’m not saying you didn’t put her in her place, but you gotta get free of her. Doesn’t do you any good.”

 

Tabitha really wanted to make him shut up. She did not appreciate taunting. So she grabbed him by his neck and kissed him or more precisely, sucked his breath out. “Tabitha, you really can’t avoid …” Butch was still trying to say something, trying to push her away. So she withdrew a little, but still held onto him. “I. Want. You. Right this moment, Butch.”

“Here? Right, we could go …” Butch’s voice had become tiny and high-pitched.

Tabitha didn’t let him finish. “You said I can have what I want.” She pushed him off the road. They were far enough from the house to not be seen from the windows, but they were still basically on the driveway. Butch stumbled against a large tree trunk. Tabitha’s legs crawled around his to keep him in place. She felt the rage and desire burning her body inside out. She needed to cool.

“Uh, Tab, umm, okay,” Butch stumbled with words as Tabitha pulled his pants on his thighs, “okay, I can get on board with that.”

Tabitha placed one hand on his mouth and another on his grotch as she whispered: “Don’t talk.” Butch responded quickly, making almost suffocating noises. Tabitha removed her hand from the mouth and joined it with the other. She liked to hear noises, while she was silent. Through the blood thrumming in her ears she could hear her name, shortened and swallowed by wheezing sounds and high-pitched syllables. She could hear muffled growls and hard breaths, tree bark creaking from their movements.

 

Finally, she heard Butch’s breathing slow down as she felt herself cool down. It had been a fast fuck, she hadn’t even removed her belt. She felt better, more like herself than she had in days. Cooler.

“Now, wasn’t that nice?” she asked, moving away from Butch. The man struggled to get his pants back on and didn’t say anything. Then he cleared his throat: “So, umm, should I send you back home or ..?”

“No, sorry, I have to go and get myself some clothes.”

“Uh, you, you need money for that?”

Tabitha smirked. “No. I have enough. And it’s not as if I can’t just take what I want either,” she added with a hint in her eyes.

“Ookay then, I guess I’ll see you?” Butch asked uncertainly.

“I should hope so,” was Tabitha’s answer as she turned back on the road again.

 

**(Barbara)**

Barbara stared at the broken glass. What luck it didn’t fall on Ozzie’s favourite carpet. She didn’t know why she had said that. If you don’t count the way Tabitha had refused to look at her. The final look had made her shiver though.

“What a bitch of a day,” she said out loud and collected the dress that was thrown on the floor. Suddenly she wanted to burn it. She didn’t. She just pulled and searched for scissors. She settled for a hunting knife on the shelf. At first she ripped through the fabric and cut straight lines into it. After first burst of anger she managed to find manicure scissors and started to cut out the pieces. At first they were round and shapeless, but soon she had calmed down enough to make little stars and after a while she was sitting at the table, tip of her tongue out and was fixed on cutting out the prettiest tiny hearts possible. Soon the dress was gone and table filled with stars and hearts and moons and even a few flower blossoms. She felt better.

 

She looked at the shapes on the table and decided to make a lampshade out of them. She giggled. Even Barbara felt it had been unexpected development. To actually make something. Perhaps she could use the lampshades in her new club? Well, in the club soon to be hers. That felt right. She had finally cooled down.

It was almost the same thing she had done after Renee had left, because Barbara was apparently still in love with Jim. She had been angry, she had flushed down the drugs saved for the rainy days and then started to cut a towel Renee had used, right there in the bathroom. She had been ripping through clothes after she had killed her parents as well, after all the testimonies and questioning. It had cooled her down, it had made her realize it was not such a bad feeling to be a killer. She had dreamt of them dying before.

 

After the last trip to Arkham and the fresh rejection from Jim she had felt the same anger, the same need to rip through everything. But she didn’t need to, Tabitha was there. Calming her down, bringing her back to reality with her touch. It had been something new, someone who really knew her, someone who really understood her. And Tabitha didn’t leave. She had held her and stroked her hair. It had been something she didn’t have before. She loved it of course, but she loved a lot of things. That’s when she had realized she not just loved Tabitha, love meant nothing, she _needed_ her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the bone-structure of this story, but damn, i had no idea these two would act like this. i hope they're not too out of character.  
> when i started to write this, i thought i might have troubles writing Barbara, but honestly i'm having a more difficult time with Tabitha. poor Butch, being used like that.  
> anyway, thanks for sticking with the story and the kudos and you can always tell me what you think! hope it wasn't too short.


	8. Decide Who You Are (Tabitha)

 

Tabitha had decided not to go back to Penguin’s manor. She still didn’t know what to think of everything that had happened there. It wasn’t like it was all unexpected, it really wasn’t. Barbara probably felt left out and Tabitha had been pushing her buttons. They had both provoked each other. It was clear after days passed. She still didn’t want to go back. It felt as if she did, she would have to give Barb an answer. Either about the business partnership or another kind of partnership. What _had_ been unexpected though turned out to be her decision to even wear that damn dress.

 

Tabitha was spinning a knife between her fingers, she felt good and was steadily healing up. She didn’t know how swift or precise her movements would be, but she really didn’t want to think about it either. More than ever, she wanted to test it out. After the shot to her shoulder, her aim had been off for quite a while. This time it seemed to be okay, she did kill a spider after all. She put on her new work clothes, they were similar to earlier, but instead of leather they were made of a softer fabric, the kind that wouldn’t hurt her wound. Tabitha had chosen them very carefully.

 

It was dark when she got outside. The city light glowing through black veil, her eyes took it all in and she could breathe again. It had been so long! At first she tried running, hidden away from everyone’s eyes, sneaking silently as if her feet had been soft paws. She took a turn to the back alley of a skyscraper. She bent her back and arms to check how nimble they were. Not one of her best days, but she could stretch without feeling pain. Tabitha had always been a good healer. Deciding not to risk anything, she didn’t dare to turn herself too much. A little bit of tiredness was seeping through her bones.

The fire-escape was on the right height. She might have to attempt a few times to reach it, but it was doable. Tabitha crooked her neck from one side to another, made instinctive calculations, pulled out her whip to curl it to the bottom step. The throw had been accurate, though it was fairly easy. She made sure it was safe enough, then leaned her feet on the wall to support he weight. It was hard to use her hands so much, but it was only three pulls to reach on the stairs. She made it on her first attempt. It was good. Not very satisfactory, but good. Tabitha was a little light-headed, but the feeling passed quickly. Now she just had to climb higher and higher in order to achieve her goal of reaching to the roof.

It went easy at first, she didn’t stumble, her movements were agile and she didn’t have to use too much energy. She lost count of the floors. Usually she didn’t, but it wasn’t very important at this moment. It might become important when she would have to do a job.

 

Somewhere in the middle she started hurting. At first it was dull and she decided not to give it any attention. A floor later though the pain had gotten stabbing and she was afraid she had opened her wound. She didn’t feel any blood under her hand, but that didn’t mean it was alright. She sat for a while, letting the cold night air cool her down. What if she got sick? The idea was unexpected. Common cold? Now that would be hilarious. She had never really thought about herself as mortal. She was a legend as an assassin, she wouldn’t go down that easily. Lately she had started to think about the name Tabitha Galavan though. Was that immortal? No. Was it even important? It’s not like she cared about fame, but sometimes she did want to be remembered. She would’ve settled for being remembered as someone’s sister or wife or mother. Well, she would never be a mother, that much was certain, she would probably just eat her babies.

Tabitha Galavan was the only name she ever knew. Was it even her own? She didn’t know and she hadn’t really thought about it until she met Barbara. It had been after one of those times she had warned Barb about Theo.

*

“You should be more careful with my brother.”

She had just returned from one of her brother’s parties and leaned on the armory. Barbara was drying her nails, wearing only a negligee. “Why? He’s gonna put me back in Arkham? Kill me? He needs me to get close to Jim. That rat still has feeling for me, feelings never die,” the intensity in her eyes had made Tabitha smile.

“Do you even want him?”

“His power, yes. It’s fun to have everyone kissing your feet. Him? What, Tabbie, you jealous? Didn’t pick you the type. Hope it’s because of me and not him,” Barbara suddenly asked, waving her fingers and flickering toes.

“He’s not as careful as me with things he owns, Babs. That’s all.”

“Hmm. You sure he’s your brother? You look like a princess, he looks like a toad, where’s the relation there?”

 

Tabitha had laughed. “I really don’t know, we just _were._ I remember the dark ocean,” she fell silent for a second, “I remember the dogs, they were three times bigger than we were. I remember the cold walls of the castle, not much else. He was taken by the brotherhood to become a warrior. I was trained to be the assassin for the order. He was older than me, sometimes he was funny, sometimes he was cruel. But we were kids, it was never as clear as now.”

“You don’t remember your parents or someone else in your life? What if you were kidnapped from them? Maybe he was as well. Maybe you were both switched at birth.” Barbara said it all as a joke, but Tabitha started to think. She knew her history, she knew there was her grandfather and the sword and vendetta. She knew it all as real, but what if it was just a legend. A myth not allowed to be forgotten. Who exactly had been all the people in her life? She had birth certificate, she did not have certainty.

“Hey, Tabbie, you’re not allowed to space out, that’s what I do,” Barbara reached for her and pulled Tabitha on the couch in front of her. Her knees sank either side of Tabitha, her hands travelling on her breasts. “I think you are who you decide to be.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing? Deciding?”

“Well, I didn’t get here thanks to my good looks alone.”

“That’s what you think, _I_ could have left you in Arkham.”

Barbara’s teeth were cradling her ear. “Is that what your brother wanted?”

“It wasn’t too firm of a decision. Anything might have happened, you being allergic to the drug.”

“I guess I need to thank you then and not Theo, that make you feel a bit better?” Barbara was unzipping her dress. Tabitha caught her hand in her own palm and quickly switched their positions. Barbara was smiling, almost laughing: “Weren’t you going to teach me everything?”

Tabitha was serious as she pressed her hands on Barbara’s stomach and moved them slowly and firmly up: “We have as much time as we want, you’ll get to play.”

*

The air was even colder. Tabitha decided to climb inside, at least that way she wouldn’t embarrass herself by sneezing. She opened the window with her crooked knife and slipped inside. There was movement in the other room, she hid behind the door and listened. Just someone trying to sleep. Silently she left to the hallway. It was light and she checked on her wound. It was more reddened than usual, but it hadn’t opened. Briefly, she thought about still going to the roof, by an elevator this time, but it would not have been right. She would have to manage on her own. She would come back as the best or Tabitha without the last name. Surprisingly, she didn’t know which one she preferred. Either way, _she_ still was the same.

 

 


	9. Beauty and the Beast (Barbara)

 

Sometimes the time stood still, more often though it ran like a rabbit. Or disappeared into thin air like … well a rabbit in a magician’s hat. Right now it was running and Barbara’s fingers ran on the doorframe along with it. It had been weeks since she saw Tabitha last. The house didn’t smell like rotten meat anymore and Oswald’s mysterious disappearances had come more frequent.

 

“So, Babs,” he was intentionally drawing out the “a”, “let me phrase it so I could understand you correctly,” he snorted before continuing, “you want _me_ ,” gesturing to himself, “to give _you_ ,” now the finger was on Barbara, “my club. I fail to see the benefits I would get from it. Or do you think I don’t have brains?”

Barbara sighed and sat on the table. “Ozzie, you are a brilliant man! Even when we were still enemies, like who really has enemies in this city, we’re all allies. Even when I was still with Jim I could see what a brilliant mind you have.”

“Flattery will not get you very far with me.”

“Let me ask you, _why_ did you want that place in the first place? To show Fish who’s the boss? To impress your mother? You have done that! But you can’t let the place fall apart, what message would that send to your followers, to people of Gotham, to Fish Mooney? Right now it’s withering, Oz, let me save it.”

“And I’m incapable of doing just that? I still own it!”

“Yes, you do. Ozzie, you don’t need to give it to me right away. Let me give you an option. If I can double the clients, you let me have it, I can even buy it out. You can still come over, do your business. _You_ are a man with visions, you shouldn’t be bothered by a club.”

“Well, I already have people taking care of it.”

“They are not me. It’s more than a business place, Ozzie, it’s a place for entertainment.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning to do anything with it. I need to find Fish…”

“If she comes by, I will be there. Do this for me?”

“I must say I find your friendship refreshing. I need friends at this moment. Fine, I still fell the smell of fish there anyway,” he adjusted his coat.

Barbara had not expected it to go so easily, she slid closer and gave him a light embrace.

“Will you be moving out soon?” came another question from Oswald.

“As soon as I can move in to the club, why, bored of me already?”

“Don’t care either way. Hey, do you know how to knit?”

“What? Don’t you?”

“I know perfectly well, thank you,” Oswald got up and leaped away without another word.

Well, it wasn’t Barbara’s business. “I’ll just go and check the club out then, see what needs to be done?!” she shouted after him.

“You can do what you wish,” Oswald had already disappeared somewhere in the depths of the manor.

Barbara laid herself out on the table. She had somewhat started to like here, like living in a gothic novel. Her parents had had a similar one.

*

She used to climb on everything when she was little. Tables and cupboards and armories and bookshelves. That of course was not what was expected of her. Now there was no one to yell at her or punish her for disappearing from her studies. Her parents had still succeeded in making her perfect.

Knowledge of art and fashion and all the pretty things. She had always liked pretty things anyway, so that had been her escape.

But she had been perfect. Perfect height, perfect weight, perfect bra-size. Perfect smile and perfect hair and perfect slow movements. Like a lady. The perfect words and speech. She had been a perfect lady by the age of nineteen, when she left home. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was the way she felt. So she was certain it had been her fault. She tried to feel perfect, but somehow it didn’t work like that. So she continued to be a perfect lady with imperfect feelings, she didn’t know another way to be.

She studied art, she was engaged to a family friend. Sometimes they had sex, most of the time they just sat around each other. They never really talked. She had wanted to scream and break out, but her mind wouldn’t listen to her feelings.

Then broke up with him, graving for a change. It was civil, until her parents found out. She was banished from their home. Like she had cared! She was finally free!

Except of course she wasn’t. She didn’t know how to _not_ be the perfect lady. She had some savings and she continued studying and she was still the same she had been before. Still trapped and pretending. Then game the drugs, because sometimes she was unable to breathe on her own.

And then she had met Renee. She was so vibrant and different from Barbara. The crazy ideas they came up with … Renee was the one who worded them, while Barb was still just a silent accomplice. She did make suggestions though. Parties for two, sometimes they invited other participants.

 

Barbara wasn’t so perfect any more. She had known since she was twelve that she felt attracted to pretty girls. And even not so pretty ones. Of course, that did not go with the perfect reflection either. And she was high when they ran around the town and broke into the stores. She was not perfect.

And yet when she got caught she let her parents put her to rehab. They never found out about Renee. She had cried about her, but when she got back Renee was gone and she was perfect again. Perfectly soulless. Until Jim came along. Now _he_ was the one who was perfect. He made her feel perfect, he came at the right time. A moment when she decided she actually likes to be perfect. But apparently even he wasn’t perfect enough for her parents.

*

Barbara sighed and sat up. Jason Skolimski was perfect for them. He taught her she didn’t have to be good. That was the one thing she hadn’t thought about. _When people see the real me they run screaming._ Jason showed her she wasn’t to blame for that. She could be whatever she wanted to, do whatever she wanted. Finally, she was able to let the perfect lady wash away. In blood.

 

Tabitha knew all of it. Beauty and the beast, she had said. One night, after Arkham, when Barbara had been more restless than usual. Tabitha had calmed her down with one touch and then she said:

“You are the beauty and the beast in one person, Barbara.”

“Do you think I’m perfect?”

“No one is perfect. You can _seem_ perfect, but you can never be perfect. You have never been perfect. You were just … only the beauty without the beast.”

“You like weird metaphors or what?” she had tried to make a joke. It had sounded so right. Not perfect, _right_.

“I was just taught like that, my beauty and beast.”

She had laughed. “Don’t you dare go calling me like that in public! Or ever!”

 

Barbara dialed Tabitha’s number. She answered.

“Barbara, I have nothing to say to you right now.”

Her voice sounded like a good memory.

Barbara closed her eyes and asked: “Do you still think I’m beauty and the beast?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea if the club is the same one, but i decided it is.  
> thanks for staying with me!


	10. Will You Be My Partner? (Tabitha)

 

Tabitha had tried not to think over the passing weeks. She had finally managed to climb again without pain, although despite the spider her aim was not perfect anymore. It was tolerable. She didn’t worry, she still had skills even if she had decided not to use them for the time being. Her days had consisted of a lot of training and sleep, occasionally she had passed the time with Butch.

Barbara’s name on her phone came as a surprise. She did not have an answer, but she still picked up.

 

_“Do you still think I’m beauty and the beast?”_

Tabitha was silent, but so was Barbara. And she didn’t want to hang up. “Yes.” The answer came easily. It was true, had always been. “How come you’re asking? Barbara, is everything all right?” Tabitha remembered the night she had told her the comparison.

_“Yes. I am absolutely wonderful! Shining through night like a bright star! Hey, Tabbie, have you thought about my offer?”_

“I don’t really know what that was, Barb. Have you found Jim and want me to help you torture him?” she didn’t mean to be so sharp, but she had been angry for too long.

_“Isn’t Jim at the station? He always is. Tabbie, I haven’t really even thought about him. The only thing he knew was how to take advantage of my kindness. Tab-bie, I really want to see you, talk business and everything. Meet me at Ozzie’s club.”_

“Have you forgotten the guy wants me dead? And I heard Zsasz was back in town, really don’t want to risk it right now.”

_“No worries, your boyfriend made him promise not to kill you. And there’s me. Oswald happens to like me too you know, two cazies from the same loony butchery.”_

“I’ll think about it.”

 _“You’ll come. It’s a brilliant idea, baby,”_ Barbara fell silent. The word had probably been an accident, but Tabitha didn’t say anything about it.

_“Tabbie, I want to see you and I want to talk to you. Well, I might want to do a lot more than talk, but sshhh! It’s a secret.”_

“Have you taken drugs, Barbara?” urgency crept into Tabitha’s voice.

_“Relax. No. I might have taken some painkillers with vodka, but nothing else.”_

“All right.” It’s not that she had anything better to do.

 _“So you’ll come? You’re the sweetest, Tabbie,”_ Barbara smooched in the phone and hung up.

Suddenly she didn’t want to go any more. But she had promised and she did miss Barbara, even if she didn’t want to admit it even to herself.

 

The club was quiet as always. The glowing umbrellas and Oswald’s name didn’t really make the rooms cheerier. Tabitha stood by the door for a moment and took it all in. Seemed as if even the employees didn’t want to be here. It was almost evening, so some chick dressed as a whitehaired vamp tried out the microphone. She didn’t really sound that great. Barbara was there already, sitting by the bar with a drink between her fingers, talking to some gorilla-guy. Then she turned her head and noticed Tabitha. Tabitha smiled a little, she did it without thinking, but she probably would have smiled even consciously.

 

Barbara set the drink down and moved slowly towards her. She stretched out her hands and turned the palms invitingly up: “Tabitha! I like that you’re here.”

Tabitha let her own hands rest on Barb’s for a second before moving further in the room.  “So, what’s the big idea?”

“Come, come, we really need some privacy, that alright?” Barbara gestured her to the back table, shrouded in shadows. Tabitha took a seat, Barb almost sat on the table, but then still landed on chair.

 

“This place!” she looked so excited, her eyes glowing of passion even in the darkness.

“You okay? I don’t really see anything worth getting excited about here.”

“That’s exactly the thing, Tabbie, _we_ will make it exciting.”

Now she started to see the picture. “So that’s why you’re Penguin’s new best friend.”

“Well, I wouldn’t really call us besties, more like convenient allies, who occasionally are friendly with each other. And I kinda like him, Ozzie’s got spunk. Isn’t that a spicy word?”

“Uh-uh, where do I come to the picture?”

Barbara’s flashy smile faded. “You’ve always been there. I want us to … to spend some time together. To run this together. I want us to _be_ together. I don’t know why I went to the station, but I know it didn’t do me any good. I just want us to be around each other, that’s all.”

“Barbara, I can’t promise you anything, you know that,” she knew Barbara needed something to depend on, but she didn’t want to be that person right now.

“I know. But I’ll have the club, _we_ will have this and that’s enough, it really is. Do I want more, yes, without a doubt, but I’ll make this place my center. I want it to be yours as well.”

It actually sounded logical. “And Penguin?”

“I’ll buy it from him. I sold the gallery, remember? So I’ve got the money. On my name at first, then we add yours.”

“You do know it didn’t even belong to him, not really?”

“It does on the paper. I don’t know how he made that happen, but he did. And I want it to be real. I want it to be ours, I want to focus on something. I feel so much energy, Tabbie and I want to make something with it. And I want to do it with you. And I miss you.”

Tabitha smiled. It seemed as if Barbara was doing a commercial. “That’s a lot of wants,” she said.

Barbara’s smile widened a bit again: “Well, I did decide to be obsessed with myself. Will you be my partner?”

 

Tabitha laughed, which made Barbara laugh as well. It had been a long time since that happened.

“Don’t know yet,” she heard herself say. “Hey, did you burn that awful dress?”

“What? No! Of course I didn’t burn it,” Barb sounded appalled, but Tabitha didn’t believe it for a second. “I chopped it into little pieces. That’s a lot more normal thing to do, now isn’t it, baby?”

“Now, if we were together, you know I wouldn’t let you get away with it,” she let her eyes travel from Barbara’s hands to her body, to her breasts and bare shoulders, collarbone and chin. To the lips, that weren’t really smiling anymore, cheeks and nose, stopping at her eyes. The electricity was there, waves of desire and rush.

“What, the scissors or the baby?” Barbara asked finally, voice hushed and playful.

Tabitha had put on an effort to remember what the question was about.

“Making me want to kill something.”

“Did you? Kill someone,” Barbara was hungry for the answer.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She didn’t say anything else.

Barbara searched her eyes, trying to make her talk, but then gave up. “So, I can call you baby?”

“I never said you couldn’t.”

This was getting out of hand, but she didn’t seem to want to stop.

“Baby,” she had never really enjoyed Barb’s pet names for her, put this time it was different. It was gorgeous, Barbara was gorgeous. She wanted to reach out and kiss away that newly found smile of hers and replace it with fire. She didn’t move. If Barbara had though, she wouldn’t have stopped her.

“Yes. I’ll be you partner.” Tabitha said instead without moving her eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's like they actually change when they are together, i did not expect that to happen.


	11. Tangled

 

It had been fairly easy to double the clientele, considering the numbers had been so very low. What had Oswald even done with the place? Barbara guessed he just didn’t point the right people to run it. And of course the fact he had been dealing with personal problems. She had personal problems as well, Tabitha hadn’t been to the club very often, she had dealt with advertising outside the house and the time they did spend together had been to decide on new designs and overall ideas.

The club was officially on Barbara’s name starting today. She would have to wait a bit more to add Tabitha’s name, Oswald probably knew she was still in contact with her, but he hadn’t said anything about it. She had moved above the club and didn’t even see him that much.

 

It was nighttime, when Tabitha walked inside the club. She knew it was a celebration time, so she was a little surprised, when there was really no one around. Still, not very surprised, they probably had a party earlier in the daytime.

“Tabbie, sweetie, I started to worry you might not care about our baby anymore!” Barbara was waiting alone, sitting on the edge of the stage, one leg thrown over the other.

“And make you the single-mother? Scratch that, that was not a good comeback,” she winced at her own words. Her snark usually worked a lot better than this.

“No need to choose your words with me, I’m just plain old Babs, not an ex or anything.”

Tabitha couldn’t resist a little laugh at that. “Oh, Barbara, sometimes I don’t even know if I have any exes,” she added a bit more seriously, “everyone just comes and goes.” She took a seat next to Barb.

“Everything all right with Butch? I don’t want you to be sad.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s fine. He can be needy sometimes, but I guess that’s just my type. He won’t shut up about you though.”

“Ooh, he wants me to join in with you? He didn’t like the idea, when I first proposed it, how come he’s suddenly into that?” Barbara asked innocently enough.

“Not like that. More like calling you crazy,” Tabitha didn’t even know why she said.

“Well I am. I have a certificate calling me sane, but we both know that’s not really true.”

“Well, _he_ says it like it’s a bad thing. It’s really not, you’re you, free to be. And you’re not nearly as crazy as you’d like to think.”

“Really?” Barbara threw herself on the back, lying on the stage, colorful lights circling above her body.

Tabitha laid on her side, facing her. “Yeah. Beauty and the beast, remember?”

Barbara turned on the side as well to look at her. “Tabbie,” she reached out her hand and tangled the fingers in Tabitha’s loose hair, “I’m happy you’re here.”

 

“Good. I like it here,” she said as Barbara’s fingertips crawled on her face, nails following every bone and every line. For some reason Barb always thought she liked it. Maybe she did. It was strange, she didn’t remember them being so intimate before. She slipped out her tongue and caught two of Barb’s fingers between her teeth murmuring: “I’ll bite them off,” words distorted only a little.

Barbara flinched and huffed a laugh, her heart starting to thump a little harder. “Don’t you dare,” she whispered, “I can’t use them when they’re not attached. And who would clean up the floor?” she tried to sound casual, almost amused.

It did amuse Tabitha, how much she _tried_ that is. She reached out her arms and pulled Barbara even closer as she released her fingers.

“Hi,” she hushed out, looking into Barb’s eyes. “Hey to you too,” came a sighed answer. Their breaths were brushing against skin, the stage lights circling over and over and over before the air between them was so thin they crashed into each other, hands starting to move again simultaneously and kisses breathing fire.

 

Barbara threw off the shoes and moved her toes to do the same to Tabbie’s, Tabitha’s teeth found a way to Barb’s dress-zipper. Barb wouldn’t make room for her, missing the lips as she sucked a curl of the other’s hair. Tab managed to get Barbara’s dress off and she stopped for a brief moment, Barb quickly climbing on top of her, digging her fingers under Tabitha’s clothes, brushing them away, tip of the tongue peeking between her lips. Tabbie sneaked her fingers in her armpits and watched as Barbara shivered and moved her hands faster to release Tabitha from her clothes. Barb had a light-pink bra on, with tiny red roses on the edges, it didn’t cover a lot from this angle, Tabitha slipped her fingers under it, but didn’t slide the strings down, pressing her hands hard on the breasts, circling on every little knot and muscle she could find, squeezing the nipples between her nails. Barbara’s breathing was getting erratic, so she moved her thumbs towards the armpits and tickled softly.

 

Barb squeeked and broke into a little laughter. She bended down, eyes dark and vengeful as she grazed Tabitha’s shoulder with her teeth, moving towards the neck, sucking lightly the collarbones, teeth leaving light marks on her skin, lips playing with the nipples. She sank further down, licking the scars on the stomach, knee moving between Tab’s legs, her thumbs sliding further down to brush the panties. Tabitha hooked her legs around Barbara’s and flipped her over before she could pull them off.

“I should take this off first, so we could be on even ground,” she hissed and unhooked the bra.

“Not my fault you don’t like wearing one,” Barb panted as her fingers attacked Tabitha’s hair again and pulled her in another kiss, her right leg bending again and the toes starting to crawl on Tab’s thighs, trying to reach her ass. They lost balance for a second and rolled on stage, the light still catching up with them. Tabitha stopped the spin with her heels, Barbara ended up on top of her again. “We’re gonna be bruised tomorrow,” she stated a fact.

“Who cares, I wanna eat you up, kitty,” Barb started to kiss her way down again when Tabitha sat up and circled her legs around Barbara, her nails grazing and scratching in her back. “There’s my kitty,” Barb mumbled as the nails reached under her black panties. She threw her arms around Tabitha and started to kiss her way down again as Tab left one hand on the rear and moved the other in front, slipping it between Barb’s legs, she could feel the muscles tensing and throbbing under her fingers, as she moved from inner-thighs to the centre.

 

Barbara hissed as she reached Tabitha’s underwear again and pulled them off with her teeth. Tab moved herself upwards on her knees as Barb’s tongue found a way to tease her. She gritted her teeth and sunk three fingers inside Barbara, leaving others to tickle and rub on the outside. Barb let out a little tiny howl before resuming to play hide and seek with her tongue and teeth and lips.

Their motions started to get hazy, voices more and more breathless, bodies trembling for each other. Barb was growling, replacing her mouth with a hand. As the intensity of her orgasm started to grow she howled again: “Tabs!” Tabitha let that sound to guide her to climax. They collapsed, only now realizing how tangled they really were. “Babs,” whispered Tabitha in Barbara’s ear as they were trying to breathe again.

 

They laughed.

 

“Hey, you got your stuff for round two?” Barb finally asked.

“I’m still a wounded animal, what else do you want from me?” Tabbie joked.

“Poor kitty,” Barbara sat up and looked at her with a pout.

“Of course I do, lovely one, but we are moving to the bedroom.”

“Oh, thank god! I don’t want another piano incident,” Barbara winked and draped herself over Tabitha again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe i actually wrote this, hope it's not too bad.


	12. The Sirens (Tabitha)

 

“So, you’re just gonna move to her place?”

Tabitha rolled her eyes as she was folding clothes neatly to the bag. “No, I’m not _moving_ anywhere. I’m just taking a few things to stay over sometimes. The renovations are done, my name is added on the papers and tomorrow we’ll put on the new signs.”

“So? There’s no reason to stay there. I mean, I know you’re fond of her, but Tabitha, you’re, you’re just so much better.”

Tabitha had not expected Butch to protest so much about it. “Funny, she has never really put you down. And aren’t you the one who kidnapped her? She would have a reason to,” it was tiring to always say the same thing.

“That was ages ago, who the hell even remembers? Listen, she’s a nutcase, ok? You know it.”

“So, us just running around and killing people is perfectly normal? Didn’t your boss go to the same place?”

“Yeah, but that’s different!” Tabitha raised her eyebrows. “Well, I’m not fucking with him.”

“Really? Couldn’t have guessed, what’s stopping you.” She patted Butch on the cheek and added: “I’m gonna go now. If you have a problem with that, I can’t really help you. Come pay a visit, I won’t throw you out. We have a good history, Butch, let’s not make it ugly.”

“So, what? Now you’re even breaking up with me?”

“You’re the one who can’t handle me and Barb in the same room, apparently. And I don’t want anyone controlling me, had enough of that with my brother,” she heaved the bag on her shoulder, gave Butch a little kiss and opened the door, “you can see yourself out!”

She didn’t look at Butch’s beaten face, never wanting their relationship to turn into an _actual_ relationship. She had never really done one of those. It had been good while it lasted and she intended to keep it that way, there had been enough drama with Barbara already.

 

The club was not open yet, the signs saying “Oswald’s” taken off. It had only been closed for a week, to make changes in the interior (they had waited for a month before actually changing the club that used to be Penguin’s) and tomorrow was the grand reopening of “The Sirens”. The name had been her idea.

 

 

“Hey, you wanna pick the name?” Barbara had asked her, drawing invisible eights or infinities on her arm. They were sitting at a corner, watching the workers.

She had just replied calmly. “Siren.” It was the first thing she could think of. It suited Barbara in this metaphorical way, but it also reminded her of the ocean. The memories of steep cliffs and roaring waves and howling winds, memories of the time before she knew herself as Tabitha Galavan.

“Really? I mean I like it, but shouldn’t it be plural, The Sirens,” Barb whooshed her hands through the air to make a mental image of a neon sign.

That’s when Tabitha had realized they really shared something with each other, something that wasn’t torture or blood or sex.  She had pulled Barbara in a smothering kiss and straddled her for a minute before moving away. “The Sirens it is then.”

 

 

She threw her bag on the table. Barbara wasn’t around, probably in the backrooms doing the paperwork or organizing kitchenware. She had really thrown herself in this place and Tabitha finally decided to do the same. Sha had been a bit careful before, but they were in this together, taking care of the place together. She allowed herself a little smile, perhaps Barbara had been right comparing this place to a child.

“Tabbie! Good, you’re here, I really need your advice on something,” Barbara appeared with a grin on her face and two patches of cloth on her hands, “hearts or stars?” She lifted the shapes up in the air.

“Why not both, live a little dangerously.” She was curious about the question, but it didn’t look like Barb wanted to elaborate.

“You’re right, we should. You’ve had some job-offers?” she casually changed the subject.

“A few, but I’m not really taking offers at the moment.”

“How come?” they were now both heading to the back, “thought it gave you joy.”

“I don’t know, seems too much like the old times, guess I’m just trying to find myself.”

“Well, baby, don’t lose yourself while doing it. You’re still good and if you want, I could come with, you wouldn’t have to do it alone.”

Tabitha liked the offer, but she still didn’t feel as if she was fully ready to get paid for killing. Doing it for the cause was one thing, money another. And joy… well, she could find that without actually killing anyone. Besides, she wanted to give her attention to the club.

“I won’t. But right now this is the place I want to be,” she said.

Barbara turned around and gave her a very long, almost adoring look: “Good, I want you to be here as long as you like it.”

“Good. Now where can I put my things?”

 

“The Sirens” sign was at place, everything done to the last little detail. Oswald game by, threatened to kill her as usual, gave Barbara a kiss and asked her something about knitting. Followed by Butch, who didn’t share a look with Tabitha. They left pretty quickly. Barbara enjoyed being on stage, welcoming everyone, introducing the performers. She was a good host. Tabitha liked watching her, sparkling, almost flying on the stage, carried by those neon lights. Everything just seemed so right with that picture, she felt right being there, greeting people.

 

That is until Tabitha felt a shift in the air, a cold breeze. There was no wind so she eyed the patrons curiously. There was danger coming, its iciness filling the room. Tabitha’s nerves were ready to strike anyone. She couldn’t place it, but somehow the energy surrounding her was familiar. Someone was watching her, planning their move. Her eyes flicked back at Barbara, who seemed to understand her.

They met by the stage. “Can you handle it?” was Barb’s question, as if she didn’t even need to ask what had happened. She nodded. Neither of them wanted the night to be ruined. She stepped toward the stairs, their own rooms, being aware of all movements around her. It was definitely after her and not anyone else, she could feel the eyes on her. A few more steps and she was away from the crowd.

Then, out of the corner, she glimpsed something on the stairs. Eyes? They were gone before she could move. Like a phantom. There weren’t many people who could have evaded her so easily. Victor Zsasz was one of them, but it wasn’t him. Something familiar. Something smelling like blood. Before she could have moved, a tiny hand was punching her throat, a body pressed next to her back.

“I told you to never wake up.” The familiar words echoed in her mind before Tabitha lost consciousness.

Maria.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, you're still here? wonderful!


	13. Where was her angel of death?

 

**(Barbara)**

Barbara’s eyes moved constantly from the stage to people to the dark stairs in the back. It had been half an hour and there was still no sign of Tabitha. She really didn’t want to worry about it, she trusted Tabitha, she was good enough to take care of almost anything, but she couldn’t help her gaze searching for her partner. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits and she decided to melt in the crowd.

Tabitha was nowhere to be found, not by the stairs, not in their rooms and not in the club. She stepped outside and phoned Butch. She didn’t really think Tabbie would be with him, but it was worth a try.

_“Yello! Who is this?”_

Barbara smiled without meaning to, as if Butch had been right there: “Butchie, it’s Barb, remember me?”

_“What the fuck do you want? To laugh at me thinking she would actually stay?”_

“Whoa, rewind a little, we talking about Tabbie? Did you two broke up, why I had no idea, was it a scandalous scene?”

_“What do you want?”_

“So I’m guessing she isn’t with you at the moment,” she did not want to sound worried.

_“No. Like I would be telling you if she was.”_

“Thanks, bye Butch!”

_“Wait, why…”_

Barbara disconnected before he could’ve finished his question. She tried calling Tabitha, but of course there was no answer. If she had just left she would have said so. She was really worried now. It was an unfamiliar feeling, she had been worried about Jim constantly, but not about Tabitha. Even when she had heard about her almost dying, seen her in the hospital, she had still been convinced that Tabbie would come out of it. She knew it, no doubt in her mind. Now, she didn’t know, because she didn’t know what had happened. So, she just needed to find out, as simple as that.

Perhaps the person Tabitha was looking for was still in the club? Or her accomplice.

She went back inside and eyed the rich and vile people of Gotham. No one stood out, there was no peculiar energy. She didn’t really know how to feel that anyway. Everyone circling, talking and laughing and so many hands moving. Then she spotted something. Hands, little hands moving on purses.

 

She stepped closer and grabbed the girl’s wrist: “Selina, haven’t seen you in a while. Been hiding?”

They moved to the bar and Selina shrugged: “Heard you went crazy, got enough of that in my life, no offence.”

“Sure, and you just gracing us with your presence today. What a lovely thing to do.”  
“Yeah, well, what’s it to you, I ain’t robbing you.”

“People talk, word goes around, my establishment getting a bad reputation, you get the picture. Cookie?”

“No, thanks. What do you want?” Selina eyed her with suspicion. The girl wasn’t stupid.

“You’re a sharp one. Notice anything out of place on your round?”

“What do you mean? That elephant-tailed guy on stage or what?”

“Selina, seriously. I will turn a blind eye every time you just happen to go by, how’s that sound? Good? Did you see Tabitha?”

“Your other half? What, she ran away like Jim or what?”

“Selina,” Barbara dropped the teasing tone, she didn’t have time for games, no matter how fun they may have been.

“Okay, yeah, I saw her.”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah, no. She was with someone else, some lady with short spiky hair, tiny, dark skin, black clothes, hugged her from behind. Thought they were making out or something so I got out of their way.”

“Anything else? Where were they?”

“By the stairs.” Barbara didn’t ask, what _she_ had been doing there, probably snooping around in the bedroom.

“Nothing else?” it wasn’t much to go on.

“Well, I think Tabitha said something. Yeah, Maria, she called her Maria.”

Maria? It was a common name, but still, something about it was too familiar. The Maria from years ago? Tabitha had mentioned her once, just before the whole church and Jim and wedding. That she had once almost died and it had been a girl named Maria. She had said the name as if it had been something precious. As if the memory of dying held a lot of importance, as if the memory of Maria was somewhat precious. So, Barbara had remembered it. Maria had had a last name as well. How was it? Something fitting, Maria Rojo. She could work with that. She knew some people, the assassin family Tabitha had ties with, she could ask them.

“Ok, Selina, I need to leave for a while, you wanna come with?” she didn’t even know why she asked.

“What, go and get myself killed along with you?” The girl really was sharp.

“Rosie, I’ll leave for a while, would you keep an eye on things?” Barbara looked at her employee, who nodded.

“Hey, you really gonna go get yourself killed?” Selina asked.

“Well, that’s what life is for, isn’t it?”

“Whatever, your life. I’ll just accompany a little while, don’t want you to get lost.”

“Thank you, you’re a true angel, Selina, you know that?”

Selina hissed and moved on: “You coming or what?”

 

**(Tabitha)**

The world was still a bit dizzy when she woke up, sitting, tied to a chair.

“Heya there!” low honey-filled voice called out to him. Maria was standing behind her, circling a blade around Tabitha’s shoulders and hair: “It’s been sixty nine minutes, what took you so long?”

“Maria.”

“Yeah-yeah, you said that already. Wasn’t sure you’d remember. Good girl.”

“Aren’t you a professional? Didn’t think you of all people would sink to tying people and rambling around instead of just killing me already.”

“Do you want to be? Dead? Buried? Burned? Cut to little pieces?” the tongue almost poked Tabitha in her eye. This really wasn’t the Maria she remembered and had gathered information about. Someone she perhaps had even admired.

“No. And as long as you talk nonsense, I won’t be. So, please, carry on.” She couldn’t really help the annoyance in her tone, this was not how professional assassins handled things. Where was her angel of death?

“Oh, did I disappoint your image of me?” Maria was now sitting on her lap, the knife stroking Tabitha’s cheeks. “You know, when it was apparent you had survived, well, I clearly wasn’t good enough. I became better and really, I should thank you for that stupid decision I made. I’m better than you could even imagine and yet, the complications,” she stared at Tabitha, her eyes turning red as blood, “I mean, it’s a little thing really, red has always been my color, but I can’t really see when it happens. Minor hindrance, you might say and really, it is, I can still do my job, better than ever, remember? I. Just. Don’t. Like. It.”

 

Okay, whatever had happened, it was more than blindness. Now that Tabitha was paying more attention, she could see that Maria’s tongue was as spiky as her hair. Something started to make sense. “Was…were you at Indian Hill?”

“Briefly. Like those walls could keep me. Imagine my surprise when I saw picture of you. The grand opening of The Sirens. What, you changed your business?”

“I was never really in it, just natural talent.”

“Of course. You know, I liked you. You could sense me, smell me, know I was there. Even today. I have missed someone like that. I have missed myself. Now, I can sense everything all the time, without putting in any kind of effort. I don’t like it.” Her voice had become rough, she was talking slow, as if trying to get back to that past she missed so much.

“So, you want to become me?” Tabitha said it without thinking. Whether she liked it or not, she cared. The knife had dropped from her, but Maria was still very close.

“That is a good idea. I really wish I could. Maybe I could, see, I knew I liked you! Wait,” she was now alert, “I smell someone thinking they could interrupt us.”

 

She started to rise, when Tabitha angled herself so she could knock her off her feet. She moved with the chair, Maria was fast, but she was distracted. Not fast enough. Someone tried to open the door and Tabitha used her chance, falling on top of Maria, trying to smother her. She only needed strength for that. The knife fell on the floor, Maria was pushing her off, but Tabitha didn’t move. She didn’t move until Maria was gasping for air and falling unconscious. Finally, Tabitha moved herself upwards.

The door opened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel so sad for Maria...kinda want to write an actual backstory for her


	14. Stars and Hearts

 

Tabitha tried to get herself attack-ready, but she was tied very well. Some people might have called it a miracle that she had managed to overpower Maria, but she was not some people. She looked at the opening door and suddenly Barbara was standing there, alone.

The first thing Barbara saw was tied up Tabitha and then her eyes fell on the still figure of Maria. “Oh. You’ve been busy, sweety! And here I was thinking I could be your knight in shining armor.”

“Really, Barbara? How did you even find me?”

“A little bird told me, story for another time,” she rushed now to Tabitha, grabbed the blade from the floor and cut off the rope. It was so tight that she even cut a bit on Tabitha’s wrist. She kissed off the blood-drop. “So, baggage from the past, or what?” she laughed a little nervously. Tabitha stood up and massaged her hands and legs.

“Can’t believe you even had a rope tied to your _neck_ and you still didn’t need me,” Barbara traced the marks on her neck, “what did she even want?” she was eyeing Maria now.

“I don’t really know, something’s happened to her. She’s not the same person, I guess that can happen in this city.”

“Huh?” Barbara poked the lifeless body with her shoe, but Tabitha grabbed her away.” “Didn’t I just tell you? She’s even more dangerous than before and she almost killed me before.”

Barb lifted her hands in a surrender motion: “Whatever. We still have a party to catch up with,” she wrangled her arms around Tabbie and buried her nose in her hair. She could hear Tabitha smile as she stepped back again. “All right,” she said.

That’s when Barbara noticed movement.

 

Tabitha noticed Maria lifting herself up again as well, but she only had eyes for Barbara, who had drawn out a knife from under her dress. She could sense Maria’s blade behind her back, but she just smiled as Barbara pushed her out of the way and with one rapid movement stabbed Maria. Again and again. What a beautiful sight it was. Is this how Barbara saw her as she was killing someone? The wide smile plastered on Barb’s face, her muscles moving under the skin, her tongue between her lips, the glow in her eyes. She was having fun. She hadn’t seen Barbara kill anyone before. It must’ve been as exhilarating to her as it was for Tabitha.

 

Barbara stopped and looked up at Tabitha. She felt the thrill still steaming through her veins. Tabitha gazed at her so intensely as if she was the whole world. She felt as if she was the whole world at that moment.

“I really want you right now,” Tabitha stated. Barbara pulled herself up: “Oh yeah?” she wiped the blood from her hands on Tabbie’s cleavage.

Tabitha pulled her closer, grinned against her face: “Come here,” and kissed her. It felt as if she was burning, the world was burning.

“I want you to always be with me,” she whispered between breaths. She wanted to laugh, so she did, her body rumbling against Tabitha’s, who started to laugh as well. The room swirled and she gripped Tabbie’s arms: “Tabs, I really need you right now.”

Smirk on Tabitha’s face widened as she dragged Barbara out of the room: “Not here. You are so gorgeous right now, but I don’t have a thing for the stench of blood.”

They were at a hallway, when Tabitha pushed her on the stairs, her mouth moving between Barbara’s thighs, her hand disappearing between her own. Barb came almost right away, her eyes snapping so wide and light. Tabitha followed quickly.

 

“We really don’t know how to be hygienic, do we,” Barbara finally found her voice.

“Talk about yourself,” Tabbie answered as she was getting rid of her wet panties, “you’re not gonna?” she gestured at Barb.

“What if I like it like this?”

Tabitha rolled her eyes: “Normally, I wouldn’t control you, but it is a bit chilly outside. Don’t want you getting sick before we get back home.”

“All right, all right,” Barbara moved herself, “hey, should we get rid of the body as well?”

Tabitha groaned. She really didn’t want to, but it was wiser to hide Maria’s body. And she even felt a little sad for her. “Yes. But we’re gonna move quickly, I don’t like being here.”

“Tell me about it, no one would even come with me. It might have been because of her name though.”

“Why did you?”

“Tabbie, I’m insulted! You’d think I’d leave you like that? Told you, our baby needs both of us.”

They moved back in to the room, both of them smiling a bit without the other noticing.

 

*

The night was still lively as they got back to the club. The celebration for the new life in the center of Gotham seemed to have no stop.

“Aren’t I a genius, sweety? You gotta admit this was a tasty idea,” Barbara said as they watched another performer.

“You do have your moments. And I like the designs.”

“I like the name, it’s perfect for us, don’t you think?” Tabitha only smiled. It was hard to get it off her face.

“You know what, I want to sing,” Barbara was suddenly looking at her, expectantly. Now that wiped the smile off. “I am not going to sing, Barbara.”

“Why not? All right then, it’s not that I wanted you to sing with me. Hey, how come you didn’t tell me you broke up with Butch.”

Tabitha crunched her nose: “Wasn’t sure we did. But I guess it’s better anyway.”

“Baby!” Barbara leaned against her and massaged her shoulders, “it’s good you still have me, then, isn’t it?”

“Do you want to dance? I am not going to sing, but we do have a dance floor as well.”

Barbara laughed and dragged Tabitha on the floor immediately. It was good. It was better than good, it was right.

 

The night flew by without them noticing, until it was time to close the doors. The sun was rising, when they finally crashed in the bedroom, staring at the ceiling next to each other.

“I’m glad we’re not apart anymore,” Barbara was the one to break the silence.

“Me too.”

“Really? I wasn’t sure you would be.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I feel as if we were together even apart. Just too independent to admit.”

“Really? Good. I like that thought,” she stared back to the lampshade.

“That looks familiar,” Tabbie was looking at it as well, “is that? You really are hung up on people, Barbara.”

“What? Who the hell wore that abomination in the first place?” she laughed.

 

Little stars and hearts were dangling from the lampshade.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...i guess that's the end of this bit. they're not nice, they're just them.  
> i'll write a chapter about only Maria next and then this story is officially done.  
> i'll probably write some more about them though, they're fun.  
> it's been two years since i last wrote anything (not to mention in english) and it's been nice to get back to it.  
> Thanks for reading, lovelies! Let me know how it was!  
> (i'll try to read it through and edit a bit as well)  
> oh, and i might change the title to "love doesn't mean a thing"


End file.
